caffeine blues

I guess this song is pretty applicable to everyone right now.

Everyone should check out Gray Matter, Moss Icon, Embrace and, of course, Rites of Spring [probably my absolute favourite band, I never ever ever get sick of them in spite of their fairly small discography]. You can read more about Revolution Summer here.

On the upside, it’s snowing out today. I like the transition between Fall and Winter more than any season.
And because I love positivity so much, I’m going to share my favourite Anne Sexton poem in more. In all seriousness, I think it’s quite beautiful.

-n.

Since you ask, most days I cannot remember.
I walk in my clothing, unmarked by that voyage.
Then the most unnameable lust returns.

Even then I have nothing against life.
I know well the grass blades you mention
the furniture you have placed under the sun.

But suicides have a special language.
Like carpenters they want to know which tools.
They never ask why build.

Twice I have so simply declared myself
have possessed the enemy, eaten the enemy,
have taken on his craft, his magic.

In this way, heavy and thoughtful,
warmer than oil or water,
I have rested, drooling at the mouth-hole.

I did not think of my body at needle point.
Even the cornea and the leftover urine were gone.
Suicides have already betrayed the body.

Still-born, they don’t always die,
but dazzled, they can’t forget a drug so sweet
that even children would look on and smile.

To thrust all that life under your tongue! —
that, all by itself, becomes a passion.
Death’s a sad bone; bruised, you’d say,

and yet she waits for me, year and year,
to so delicately undo an old would,
to empty my breath from its bad prison.

Balanced there, suicides sometimes meet,
raging at the fruit, a pumped-up moon,
leaving the bread they mistook for a kiss,

leaving the page of a book carelessly open,
something unsaid, the phone off the hook
and the love, whatever it was, an infection.
– “Wanting to Die” from Live or Die by Anne Sexton

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